We all have fears to varying degrees: flying, insects, public speaking. Even though we’ve heard that fear is an illusion, all in our heads, it is a very real obstacle that prevents us from taking risks and moving forward toward things we really want. Fears often come out of the blue for no known reason for the purpose of keeping us safe, saving our lives, and . . . holding us hostage.
Metaphorically, we build walls in our minds to protect us and we reinforce them over time with consistent loops. We become so conditioned to lean on fears as excuses, crutches, or good reasons to procrastinate. Fears become the very walls that imprison us. With consistent attention, we mentally pick the lock on the gate.
Ask yourself: What do I want? And why do I want this?
Don’t cop out with, “I don’t know.” Deep down inside, you know what you want. You just might be conditioned to not think it acceptable to others.
Decide what you want. If you want to fly to visit friends, or be calm when a bug lands on you, or speak to a group to advance your career, encourage yourself in positive terms. I want_______________. (Not what you don’t want.)
Talk yourself forward. You have the power to choose the thoughts that will take you where you want to go. And if you talked yourself out of it, you can talk yourself into it. When fears have hold of you, you must choose to take control of how you think and what you say to yourself.
Focus on what you want, not what you don’t.
So, are you focused on the problem, or the solution? Choose thoughts that move you toward what you want.
Think Focus = Flow. If you focus on what you don’t want, you stop the flow.
This is far more than positive thinking. It’s consistent self-talk that creates new neuropathways that help you think more constructively. It will help you to stop going down the dark rabbit hole first. This requires vigilant present moment awareness.
Monitor your thoughts. By doing this, you can check yourself before you wreck yourself from the inside. What thoughts propel you forward or compel you to take action?
Speak to yourself as you would a small child. Gently, kindly, as if it’s your job to motivate that child. (Because it is.)
Remember: You are enough. You are all you need. And you can talk yourself into anything.