On Deck Today

Communication on devices

What’s love got to do with it?

In the grand scheme of your life, love is everything. Maybe not all you need, but it is an ingredient all creatures need to be emotionally healthy. Plus, it is the number one desire all human beings. We come out of the womb reaching and wanting to be held close and nurtured. Love is the one thing that keeps us afloat mentally, motivates you, strengthens your resolve to do better, be better, and thrive.

But love takes two. If both parties are not equally invested, it becomes everything from a challenge to a battle. Balance requires compromise, and compromise requires communication.

Communication has become, well, abbreviated since the advent of text messaging and Twitter. Convenience is not necessarily the best in dealing with important emotional issues. Of late, short messages void of inflection and context only serve to stir the emotional pot into a muddy cloud. Minimalist bites have conditioned people to not explain themselves fully or clarify their intentions. Those typed tidbits can come off as dry, curt, pissed off, unfeeling, provoking, etc.

True feelings, already bruised or raw, are re-opened like wounds that aren’t healing. I heard a woman say, “I sent him a really friendly text and he didn’t even respond. So, I called and he’s screaming at me, all pissed off.” Clearly, he didn’t find her text friendly. Assumptions were made and important points were misunderstood. Crucial information goes MIA leading to hurt feelings, confrontations, or something not getting done.
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What happened to face to face conversation? All parties fully paying attention, not multitasking on devices. The art of conversation should be taught in every primary school. Even confrontations escalate from 0 to 60 mph in split second by misunderstanding of an abbreviated message. Details fall through the cracks. Texts are perceived through the mood of the recipient. And so many feelings are missed. Where’s the love?

Clear, authentic communication comes from face to face or live phone. Now time. Speak directly to the other person. Listen. (We’ll do a whole other article on listening later. That’s how big was it.) Repeat points to make sure you heard them clearly. Communication is an ebb and flow, give and take, speak and listen. This cannot be nearly as efficiently done in emoticon-filled micro-bites unless they were quick this or that, “yes” or “no” questions. The generation that was raised on device usage has created entire languages with emoticons and would argue that there is an art to their specific brand of communication, and there is. But is there love there?

But, as adults, deeper, more meaningful and clear communication is required to navigate everyday life and business.
Real love requires this type of communication.

On Deck for next time? Listening.